Chris Patrick - X-Files (Album)

The man with two first names is finally back with his follow up to his 2020 opus & already,  we’re off to an interesting start. On the prologue to “Ground Zero”, he fervorously belts out the question, “where does your happiness lie?”, it has a hopeful feel that then bleeds into a more impending doom once he snaps back into reality. The fantasy seemed to be doing him better, his relationship with God seems to have been a rocky one, though he hasn’t lost faith yet, though other vices of his have definitely veered him away from his destined path. After treading this road for some time however, at a certain point, something’s gotta give, he’s already given so much to what feels like little to nothing in return, yet he still over exerts himself in spite of it all, it takes a lot of hard work & determination to fend off the demons he’s been plagued with & is doing everything in his power to not allow them to bring him down with them.

The transitions flow like pouring fluids out the test tube. His storytelling on “Gang Activity” is some of the most honest & poignant pieces of art to speak on this touchy subject. The production allows Chris to reflect on his experiences with the matter, the self awareness is powerful, he admits to them having been up to no good whatsoever but there was just always this sense of brotherhood amongst them, each willing to put their neck on the line to protect one another. It’s not like they want push to come & shove but they ain’t just gonna fall back whenever it does. Somehow someway, a lot of them have been fortunate enough to make it out alive & although they feel blessed by God to have, don’t think that they still won’t bust you upside your head if you get out of pocket.

Sometimes it’s necessary to cut the heads off the “Snakes” infiltrating your garden, preventing you from watering it in peace. He’s now privy of those in the circle who really should get out the circumference while they still can, though that would only raise more suspicions. It’s sad cause you can do so much for people yet they still feel entitled to more or worse, entitled to what you worked hard to attain enough to try to take it from you. He, along with many others, wish they would try, they’ll be going out guns blazing. The use of the skits at the beginning & ending of this record add so much more to the storytelling. Although he could’ve easily done something about everybody running their mouth, he avoided that nonsense & he instead channeled that energy into a healthier medium so why would he go back down there when he’s now up? There will be no retrogression taking place & certainly no one getting close to snatching their blessings.

He refuses to budge & give up his ways & passions on “Changes”. Although he does what he does so she could have a better life, she’s not too comfy with all that comes with it. Him constantly being away making the money moves & her being left to her own devices, it gets lonely, not to mention all that level of status can attract & since she truly loves him, she may be even more eager to tie him down or just leave & he’s already admitted off rip that his interest is in building his business, a home is not where his head is at quite yet but it’s a nice idea, hopefully one day. On the Erykah Officer assisted “Lead Me On”, he ponders why she would switch up on him now when she knew what it was when she 1st got involved with him. There’s a lot of dancing around with that idea on this record & the storytelling still remains powerfully poignant. He didn’t know this would be the “Last Time” they’d be connected & he struggles with the idea that she’s really gone.

He continues to let his vulnerabilities roam freely on “Useless”. For longer than he may care to specify, he’s been feeling like a liability more than anything. Everything in his life feels so topsy turvy, like the turmoil is never ending & although he’s self aware enough to point out the missteps in his life, he’s still in a way, stuck in his ways, he feels his honesty at times does more damage than his lies ever could. Although it’s a daily struggle for him, he’s terrified at the thought of just ending it, though it’d be over like that, all the pain but what is life without pain, that’s no life at all. He imagines himself actually pulling it though, possibly watching his life flash before his eyes before waking up from the nightmare at the end of this record.

The nightmare continues even when he’s awake on “Insane/Staircases”. On the “Insane” portion, he completely blacks out, almost intentionally it seems. Even the weed can’t seem to snap him out of this hellhole of a zone he’s in, he knows his doctor, as well as his mother, his girl, are all gravely concerned for him. On the “Staircases” portion, we learn of more hardships his family has had to face, it really has him questioning his own faith & sanity as he lets it all bare out on this last half. On “Oasis”, he admits of how his past drug & alcohol abuse really helped him cope with the trials of life but ultimately is choosing to let go fore he is far past that point in his life, though there will always be a beauty to those days, it was the closest thing to happiness during those days. Sometimes it helps to just “Fly Away”. That record was definitely a curveball on this album, that sober life isn’t really for everyone.

On “Oakland”, he wishes she would just take accountability already. She claims she wanted what he had to offer but yet acts like she doesn’t want commitment. Maybe he was a little too open with her at the start of their fling & finally realized she doesn’t have the emotional capacity to match his. He knows he deserves better but he’s addicted to her so no matter how many walls he puts up to keep her out, a part of him will stay wanting to tear them down, she’s the only one who has such power over him. He’s “Scared” of many things & fears that he may never gain control over that of which he can but can’t find the strength to get a hold of. This life is very intimidating & there always seems to be an impending doom looming over him, though the sun will always find a way to shine, even if lambent, he prays he has the perseverance to get closer to it. He’s standing on these “Rooftops” & screaming to God, “is that all you got?”, he’s a warrior & refuses to give up, I mean, he hasn’t at this point & while things may be uncertain, the pain is to dissipate before you know it. Can’t say I expected this album to end on such a high & beautiful note but if someone who’s gone through as much as he has, refuses to have his spirit broken as a result, then I feel like any of us can do the same. Never lose hope.